Saturday, March 3, 2012

You paid HOW MUCH for that?

Ok so I'm talking to this girl, and she's not the makeup type.  But she has a hot date and she went out to get the "cute" clothes (as a male, I have no idea what this word means).  Then she tells me she spent $80 just for the "basics" in her makeup.  Good Lord.  Please tell me this is a joke.  No sadly it is not.  One has only to compare the simple act of buying drawers to know that even the most minute parts of a woman's wardrobe is 2.-3 times more expensive than a man's.  Take Underwear.  Take tighty whiteys.  Those are *generally* the same shape as your basic panties, yes I can buy a three pack of tighty whiteys for the same price a woman buys one pair of panties. 

Now take shirts.  A man *generally* will only wear one shirt at a time, with maybe a long-sleeve undershirt if its cold out.  Go look at what women are wearing.  Some of the "shirts" don't even try to fit the boobs in them.  Requiring another shirt.  Of course there might be a third layer thrown in just for looks.  And let's not for get that at least one of these layers is see through.  Seriously.  There is almost never one shirt.  How do they let people get away with that?  Either Women have bought into the biggest extortion racket ever or someone whose designing this stuff has some crossed wires somewhere. 

Of course perhaps the most humorous thing about this whole thing is that despite the fact that women all want to be unique they seem harder to differentiate.  I'm not talking about that special someone, but, they all read the say novella length magazines telling them what to get how to wear it what colors say about what.  Its like its own little language, and really its no wonder when guys don't notice you got 1/16th of an inch of hair cut off (at a whopping $30.  Seriously they should have massaged your scalp for that much!)  You've got a see through blue over-shit with a pink shawl, and a white undershirt.  You expect me to know what the hell that means?  Oh yes.  That brings up another little rant.  Pink.  I get it you like it.  But for the love of all that is holy does it literally have to be on everything? 

You talk about "Sun Dress" and I'll give you a blank look.  And giving me veiled hints about a "little black dress" will get you the same.  News flash: I'M A GUY WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW ABOUT DRESSES?!?!? You ask me which one I like and I'm probably going to einie meenie miney moe it.  It is understandable that you may want to show me different looks and ask what I like.  Personally I always say go with what makes you happy, please do not stress over what I think looks good.  I'm a guy.  You could wear a full arctic suit or nothing at all and I'd still think you look good.  That's part of your charm. 

Honestly I am happiest in a comfortable pair of blue jeans and boots with a t-shirt, or if I'm back home in Cali, Board shorts and flip flops.  I wear what has function and comfort.  I'll dress up, and I'll always impress when I do, because that's just something that is expected, but lets face facts here, there's pretty good reasons I don't wear suits and ties every day.  Its because they're not exactly comfortable.  So why does it seem every woman below the age of say 25 is trying to dress like they're either a). a model, or b). on their way to schmooze with models?  Sometimes I just don't get the fairer sex. 

So I have an idea that will save the economy overnight.  Wanna hear it?  Whoever makes guys clothing, make it for women.  Simple efficient and comfortable.  Most of all inexpensive.  I mean we could solve the whole economic issue overnight if women weren't paying through the nose for "basic" cosmetics, clothes, or ahem fashion magazines.  Now you don't have to agree with me.  But man wouldn't your wallet (or your parent's) really appreciate that? 

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